I Had Swine Flu!!!!

Yeah, I ended up getting swine flu after all. It really didn't surprise me because I'd been around a lot of people who came down the wretched disease. Oh, well...that was about 3 weeks ago and I'm pretty much fine now. I've even conditioning for track. (ugh)

Goodbye Fifteen Candles

Well, it's time to change my blog's name from "Life with Fifteen Candles" back to its original "MemisThoughts". I finally turned 16 last Saturday and it's no longer appropriate. The title is going to remain "MemisThoughts" until I can come up with something more original.

What am I so worried about?

Today is Thursday, May 28, 2009 and I'm very confused. For the past month or so, I haven't been able to focus on much of anything important. Recently I've been described as a skittish chihuahua and that's not cool at all (even though this one is really cute). I'm assuming it's due to social anxiety, which I'm positive I suffer from. The only thing is that I have no idea what the problem is. I've been like this for almost 6 years now and I still haven't figured out what's got me on edge all the time.

To Be or Not To Be...

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

Things are going from bad to worse and I only have myself to blame. The silence after the storm screams so loud that it's almost deafening.

"Like Nothing You've Ever Heard" by Melanie AKA Memis

She opens her mouth and the words come out.
It's like nothing you've ever heard.
The language is familiar and the sound is clear.
Her diction is graceful like a bird.

Her voice seems to sing even though it's barely at a whisper.
She feels like no on is listening to her, but it doesn't matter.
The voices in her head always respond with silent encouragement.
No one understands the way she feels inside.
Her mind is like a bottle with the cap screwed on tight.
The glass is a translucent green.
From the inside, she can see the most amazing things.
The sounds of it all echo in her ears.
Some things she'd rather not hear, but others are fascinating.
She enjoys moving words around and changing subjects and verbs.
But then she realizes that she is still in the bottle.
She's afraid to come out
Afraid that others will stop and stare when her soul finally decides to cry
out.
She has to face er fear and climb out.
She watches herself face her face them all and she opens her mouth to
speak.
Her worst nightmare came true; they all stopped and stared.
They funny thing was that they smiled while she cried.
She sobbed as she spoke, and more or less sang.
It was almost as if the old part of her had died
And she was somehow reborn.
The things she sang if were random at best.
Of canaries, of far away universes not yet discovered, of E=MC^2.
No one understood, but everyone cared.
It was like she was afraid of fear itself.
Then she opened her eyes and found herself surrounded by glass.
She was going nowhere, perhaps she was even going back
Back to the place she found herself whispering
Back to the place where no one she, herself, and her.

She continues to stay quiet, yet sing her every word.
Oh, the beautiful things she says--
It's like nothing you've ever heard.

This thing called "Swine Flu"

Over the past few days, the news has been filled with this swine flu scare. I'm just wondering how serious this really is. In the United States, no one has died from it, but in Mexico about 150 people have died from it. I'm certain that's because of the amount of available health care in the two countries.

This kind of reminds me of the SARS scare a few years ago in Asia. Wasn't the survival rate 98 per cent? I think it was.

Anyway, here are some sites on the issue:
Symptoms of Swine Flu
Journalists are obsessed with the Swine Flu outbreak
U.S. Swine Flu cases